Trip Nº 000034 · direct class · first booked 5 August 2026
Cabbage to Mount Everest
1.3640 rad — 1364 leagues of meaning
STOP 1 — CARROT
# CARROT Upon arrival in Carrot you will notice the peculiar orange dust that settles on every surface, and the way the light here seems perpetually golden, as though filtered through jam. The locals observe an ancient custom of dangling something desirable just beyond reach—a practice so ingrained they apply it to all negotiations, whether commercial or romantic. The town's principal export is incentive itself; merchants from across the Fauna Reaches purchase Carrot's famous lures by the cartload. The settlement bifurcates seasonally: in summer, the district of Vegetable thrives on nourishment and common sense, while in winter, the district of Stick assumes dominance, all hardened root and stubborn promise. Wear sturdy boots; the ground here is exceptionally firm.
Day 1. You are 60% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
Souvenir
You have reached the point precisely between Cabbage and Mount Everest . What you find here is yours to keep: carrot.
Collect souvenirSTOP 2 — DONKEY
# DONKEY Upon arrival in Donkey, you'll notice the distinctive two-toned architecture: grand facades overlooking modest interiors, a local design principle reflecting centuries of misplaced expectations. The townspeople observe a curious ritual each morning, gathering to distribute heavy burdens equitably among themselves—a custom they perform with notable patience. The settlement is renowned throughout the Fauna Reaches for its export of stubborn refusals, shipped in reinforced containers to skeptical buyers across neighboring territories. You'll find the marketplace divided into two quarters: the working district, where practical strength is valued, and the mockery district, where cleverness is traded in jest. The local proverb warns that calling someone by this town's name requires careful calibration. Pack sturdy shoes; the streets are uneven and the locals move at their own pace.
Day 2. You are 80% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.60 falling
STOP 3 — CLIMBING
You arrive in Climbing to find the slopes already warm beneath your feet, though whether you've climbed them or they've risen to meet you remains unclear. The town exists in vertical sections: the lower quarter bustles with those ascending sheer faces of stone and ambition, while the upper reaches house the metaphorical district, where one climbs social ranks and corporate ladders with the same practiced grip. The locals observe a daily custom of checking their ropes before dawn. Climbing is renowned throughout the Exertion Fields for its production of carabiners and determination—two exports that prove equally durable. The air thins noticeably as you gain elevation; bring water regardless of which district you intend to explore.
Day 3. You are 95% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.37 falling
STOP 4 — MOUNTAINEERING
# Mountaineering Upon arrival in Mountaineering, you will notice the town distributed vertically across several altitudes, connected by worn stone paths and fixed ropes. The principal district clings to steeper terrain than neighboring settlements, requiring steady legs and acclimatized lungs even to reach the marketplace. Residents practice the local custom of methodical planning before any excursion—topographic study is not optional here. The town is celebrated for its export of specialized equipment and hard-won technical knowledge, both refined through generations of calculated ascent. The founding principle of Mountaineering differs markedly from its more leisurely neighbors: here, simply reaching a destination requires equipment, preparation, and a particular kind of sustained commitment. Sturdy boots are essential; the cobblestones are unforgiving.
Day 4. You are 100% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.66 falling
STOP 5 — SUMMIT
You arrive at Summit to find the town arranged in concentric rings around a central pinnacle, each ring marking a previous highest point. The locals observe the custom of gathering at noon to stand still and face outward simultaneously, a practice said to commemorate the moment when one's ascent becomes a descent. The town trades in conclusions—formal agreements, climate accords, corporate decisions—which are manufactured in the austere foundry at the center and distributed throughout the Counties. Note that supplies of oxygen grow thinner as you move inward through the rings, though the view improves considerably.
Day 5. You are 100% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.60 falling
STOP 6 — ALTITUDE
# ALTITUDE You arrive in Altitude to find the township distributed across ascending plateaus, each district positioned higher than the last, so that conversation naturally occurs between levels rather than across them. The local custom involves speaking only to those at your current elevation or below—a courtesy that prevents dangerous shouting up steep grades. The town is renowned for its export of perspective, harvested in concentrated form from the uppermost districts where the air thins and ordinary concerns diminish. Visitors should note that the postal service does not deliver above the fourth plateau.
Day 6. You are 100% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.44 falling
STOP 7 — MOUNTAINSIDE
You arrive at Mountainside and find yourself neither quite at the peak nor in the valley, but suspended in that consequential middle distance where the slope determines everything. The residents are frank about their location—neither the ambitious summiteers of nearby Summit nor the grounded folk of the lower reaches, they have made a philosophy of the incline itself. The local custom is breakfast taken on one's own porch, where the angle of morning light across the facing rock dictates the hour better than any clock. The town is renowned for its slate and for a particular kind of clarity that comes from living perpendicular to the horizon. The switchback roads demand patience and good brakes.
Day 7. You are 100% of the way from Cabbage to Mount Everest .
gradient of approach: 0.48 falling
Return journeys do not retrace their steps. No journey ever truly does.